Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Stephen Hates America

Dear Person,

So, I was telling a friend today that there's not a credible, mainstream news blog with an American focus and a left-wing anarchist slant. I forget what chide she offered for my ignorant and mostly facetious declaration, but now that I think about it, it might have been more of a chortle than a chide...

Chortles and chides aside, "Hi, I'm Stephen. This is a blog." Why am I writing this, you ask. Well, vanity for one. I like myself a lot and want everyone to like me too. Two, I want to eventually make money as a writer, and I feel that this topic is one I can write on infinitely and effortlessly, in a way that is informative, engaging, and entertaining.

This is the part where I describe what I intend to write and why I chose an inflammatory title for these textual musings. As I have established, I am vain, so I wanted a title with my name in it. I have decided that I came up with the statement unwittingly as an homage to Mike Wilson's 2004 documentary Michael Moore Hates America and the Westboro Baptist Church's well-known "God Hates America" slogan. However, in my case, I am adhering the label to myself. It is also different in my case because the statement is not true.

So, Stephen doesn't hate America? What is "America" anyway? Is it the culture? The government? The people? The terrain, climate, habitat, or unique details of the physical landscape? I do not hate any of these things on the whole, not overtly anyway. I may hate some aspects of some of these things some of the time (if I can really be said to "hate" anything), but for the most part I'm a lovable, likable, friendly guy.

In the days, weeks, months, and/or years that follow, prepare to be treated to pieces of literature that will make you laugh, cry, and think. Prepare to see heroes vilified and villains defended. I will attack power on principle, not necessarily out of carefully contrived merit. I may occasionally say things primarily to garner attention or make a larger point. I may disguise my own opinions to various ends.

If these things bother you, please read everything I write and comment with as much vitriol as possible. If you like what I have to say and tend to agree, you probably aren't reading enough books.

Thank you for your time,


  1. I am going to have to make sure I am reading enough books, so that I can thoroughly and vitriolically respond and refute at every turn...

  2. Hey wait, I thought this was the bowling blog. Post one and I'm already crying. Powerful stuff.

  3. So... this is an entertainment blog with a serious edge? Tell me more.

  4. Looking forward to it! Thank you.